breathing in for luck

so i got to go to the dashboard concert. it was amazing!
sammie:
you don't look anything like britney spears. but what did we learn from this little experience? we definitely do not wear other musicians merch to concerts. silly!
matt:
i think those guys were stoned. who else wants vagina hands!?


man! so many memories!! so much to say!! haha1 tell the grandkids that one!
i love you both! thanks!

claire:
you weren't there and if you would have been people would have though we were dating! i swear!!!! i hope the shirt is okay! i love you my dear girl!

and the world explodes
it seems to me that it sucks a whole lot when a person who was always on a slight pedistal is removed due to one little thing.
when you stop calling them what you used to call them.
when you stop getting excited to see them, hear there voice or touch their hair.

when you realize they are a just a person and just a friend.

watch the world explode

a poem

the conformity
of a tree farm is nothing
to
replace
the fallen forests of
yesterday.

upon the once
blue waves,
the black diamonds
of an oil spill
glisten from miles
away.

what was once
majestic, swimming
through the reefs,
has now been subjected
to an eternity of
decay.

when the last tree is cut,
the last river poisoned,
and the last fish dead,
we'll realize we can't
breath,
drink
or eat money.

"Prayer is the contemplation of the ordinary from the highest plane of consciousness." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

If one could do so, one would ask Mr. Emerson,
"How's the view from up there?"

And the ultimate of answers would be the conversation that lead you to realize,
"He knows no more than I."

Neither of you were ever there at all.

random ramblings of a confused kid

"prayer is the contemplation of the ordinary from the highest plane of consciousness" -R.W. Emerson

And when exactly does one achieve this highest plane of consciousness? is it when you have obtained a goal so great that you feel the world rise up beneath you?
is it when you have the love of the one who summons butterflies afloat to your stomach, with such intensity that it doesn't seem long before you yourself will be capable of flight?
is it when you hold the enitre world quietly, confidently, in your hands.
or is it, in fact, when you let got of all earthly bonds and allow yourself the freedom and lightness of being.

is it when you hold the life of yourself and another in your minds eye, can see a path to the end of time and follow it precisely.

or is it when you see the horizon, hear the wind and feel the sun. you sit on a grassy hill where you lay down, you feel metaphysical self soar.
is it in soaring we discover the height we desire, or is it the lowest, darkest moment that it makes itself known? must the world drop from beneath us before we feel its height?

in theory, anything we do, anything one can acheive is there all the while within, day in and day out, waiting for the moment to cross the line; consciousness to unconsciousness.

if the highest consciousness is there, than perhaps all one needs is the right starry night, the perfect fragrance, to draw from within us what we could possibly be.
if a prayer would bring all one desires, than prayer would become the strongest of weapons, not a tool.
it is in fact, yourself that is the ultimate tool in acheiving the highest plane of consciousness.

live and let live, see and be seen, love and be loved; all essential, all important, all to be forgotten.
laugh when you find yourself crying..
dance on the day that life is clear, perfect, and all you have ever imagined; but dont be surprised if you never dance at all.

Entry Date; A two person show based upon two
independent monologues coordinating in thought process.

Synopsis:
The two characters are representations on many levels. Blankly representing the victims (all people in one) and the gun-man from the Columbine tragedy, further represents the rational and irrational mind.

Characters:
Victim: Girl or boy. Representing all of the victims of Columbine. Rational Mind.
Gun-Man: Male. Irrational Mind.

The dates will be read aloud by the person reciting

______________________________________________________________________________

Victim: January 1st 1999: Today, today is the first day of the rest of my life. Today, I find myself placed upon the thresh-hold of what could be my success or my failure. I must resolve, make resolutions for the years gone by and the year to come. I can’t solve world hunger and I don’t feel the urge to try. I’ll wake up happy to be waking up at all.

Gun-Man: January 1st 1999: So it seems I find myself, one more year here, upon the mortal coil. Coil, spinny, spinny. This year will be different. The stares will stop. (Yells) What are you looking at? The people will know my name. I will be somebody.

Victim: January 26th 1999: ... And as I climb ever onward into the vast expanse of success, I realize that the stars have known success greater than ever imagined, all without praise. To the stars, the unending blue ember of their being, glow onward, illuminate the lovers eyes and dance upon the breeze, fall into the waters surface where you will dance onward. It is good to be alive.

Gun-Man: January 27th 1999: The ladder grows, the price inflation on floatation devices is outrageous and where is that damn Sparky? Walk on my being, step on my face. You have done it to the least of my brothers and have, thus so, done it to my mother. My mother whom I’d never love... (Yells) Who never loved me! Coil, coil endless earth.

Victim: February 15th 1999: Stop and smell the roses. (Fake British accent) Two lovers sat on a park bench woo-ing. Smile, somebody loves you!

Gun-Man: February 20th 1999: A-a-alone. Dark. Bang. Ha, I scared you didn’t I? Sit, patiently waiting... alone, all the better, no witnesses. (Fake British accent) The Lunatic Is On The Grass.

Victim: March 18th 1999: The stresses of everyday life, come crashing, colliding only with me, emotionally stripped. This is the dark side of the moon. And yet, the sun breaches the darkness, breaking forth on the unending horizon of opportunity. Again, I breathe in until tomorrow.

Gun-Man: March 24th 1999: Cascade into each other, but there is only one. (Maniacal Laughter) And one will rule them all. Collapse. Succeed. (Whisper and twitch) Fail? (Yells) Never again. Bang. I scared you didn’t I? Guess what? LOADED.

Victim: April 19th 1999: Breathe in and sense all that you are. The depth of who you could be tomorrow, who you were yesterday and all that makes you, you, now. Now. What a small word for such a long time. If the time is now, and now is all you have, it is seemingly an eternity of now. How vast! How unobtainable. Life, the gift of all.

Gun-Man: April 20th 1999: Today’s the day. Bang! I SCARED YOU DIDN’T I! I’ve failed for the last time, and now you will fall, collapse, cease to be.

Victim: April 21st 1999: In loving memory of Dave, Dan, Cassie, Steven, Corey, Kelly, Matthew, Daniel, Rachel, Isaiah, John, Lauren and Kyle. The thirteen who died, the twenty-three who were injured, the school that was changed, the country that was scarred.